Adoption: Some Honest Reflections
By Matt Garimentis
We have attempted to get pregnant for the past 3 years of marriage. Actually, we conceived nine months ago, but miscarried. If there is any consolation, we're happy we know that there is hope of conception. Now we are just trying and praying. In this process, we've contemplated adoption. As we've considered adopting a child, I've worried about 3 primary concerns: money, love, and process. In the following paragraphs I'll go into these concerns in more measure. Be sure to keep in mind that these are only preliminary thoughts on as a prospective parent. I've not yet done enough research.
Our finances are tight. We are still getting ourselves out of much debt due to very impulsive spending habits during the beginning of our marriage. I had been wanting to put off having children, but my wife reminded me that having a child while tight is better than not having a child but being more free with money. Children are more important than money. We're happy to make the sacrifice. While this mindset is just fine for having your own kids, I'll bet that an agency has tighter financial requirements for who they accept. Not to mention the fees. As of now, I don't believe we can afford adoption.
When the topic of first came up, I didn't give it much consideration. My mind has always been set on having my own children. I've always thought part of the love I'd have for my child would be the knowledge that he came from me. (Yes, I'm hoping
And for parents, there are several ways to form a family, including adoption. Holly Menino, KEZI reports.]]>
Taxpayers can claim up to $13,360 for each child they have adopted in the past six years on their 2011 tax returns this year -- an increase of $190 from last year.]]>
for a boy.) As I've considered it further, however, I really trust I will love an adopted child just the same. Love is much more a committment of the heart than a mystical feeling of oneness. Additionally the knowledge that I "rescued" this child would provide magical feelings throughout parenthood. Possibly I'd even think of myself as a hero!
A third concern I've dealt with while contemplating is a fear of the process. I regularly hear about negative stories of the time and cost needed to adopt a child. An acquaintance even went through an ordeal where there surfaced a possibility that the birth mother had the option to take the child back six or so months later. I wouldn't want all this risk before starting the necessary steps. Then I read stories of adoptive parents going to foreign countries to find a child with the only expense being a airline ticket. Could it be that easy?
I haven't researched adequately to know the facts about these money, love, and process concerns. Well, I have figured out I will love whatever child with whom God chooses to bless us. This article is just the first step in my desire to understand these issues. I have set up a website where I plan to receive the written experiences of others considering or adoptive parents. You are invited to submit an article too. You don't have to be an expert -- I'm not! You don't need to be an accomplished writer. Your experience on the topic is highly valued.
Here are some more adoption articles...